Sunday, 27 October 2013

The Pope's influence worked - humour and more.





 


What a day 

As a parent you are always concerned that they are okay so when my youngest rang this morning in tears I was immediately concerned but it was good news! You women will understand. She was ringing to let me know that her boyfriend had proposed and she'd accepted!!!!!

Then there was the football match between my team, Sunderland, and Newcastle which is always a battle and of late one that we'd not had a great deal of success in, but after giving the Pope a replica shirt he seems to have interceded on our behalf. Yes we won 2 - 1!

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So I am feeling frivolous and have included the following for your amusement. This came from an ex-teacher friend. The spelling mistakes are courtesy of the children.

Subject: This is why Teachers drink...

Out of the mouths of babes and all that.....



NATURAL HISTORY:        Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians.

GEOGRAPHY:                    The closest town to France is Dover.  You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.

SCIENCE:                          Helicopters ar cleaverer than planes.  Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover.

GEOGRAPHY:                    In Scandinavia, the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians comes from Norway
                                           and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.

RELIGIOUS STUDIES:        I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers – I don’t know any old men apart from grandpa.

MATHS:                            The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls santa on his slay.

THE ARTS:                        In last year’s Christmas concert, Linzi played the main prat.  I played one of the smaller prats and I would
                                        like to have a bigger prat this year.

HISTORY:                        Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.

MATHS:                           I would like to be an accountant – but you have to know a lot about moths.

                                        If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel.

GEOGRAPHY:                 In geography we learned that countries with sea round them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents.

HISTORY:                        In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country.

                                       Joan of Ark met her end.  She was burned as a steak.

                                       Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as ostriges until the was is over.  Some end up in consterpation camps.

RELIGIOUS STUDIES:      If you marry two people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this.


                                       A mosque is a sort of church.  The main difference is that its roof is doomed


The Musings of a Confused Mind



 Every so often I have a push on one of my books or the poetry collection 'The Musings of a Confused Mind'. I have the poetry published in paperback by Amazon's Create Space programme and enrolled it on KDP Select. This has been the case for a while. Every now and again I give the book away on Amazon's Select service. It usually means that between a dozen and twenty copies are downloaded but the good side effect is that a few of the Steele novels are purchased which is pleasing. Last weekend it was 'Inceptus' that attracted purchasers. I shouldn't be greedy but they are still only going in ones rather than tens! 

One thing I haven't done as yet is to try the free days on consecutive weekends but that's what I will try this weekend. So this Sunday the poetry will be free again.

https://www.createspace.com/3978810 - paperback not  free

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008YF1RI2 - Kindle copy FREE

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008YF1RI2 - Kindle copy FREE


God Bless