Writing - Generation Y (Readwave)

Human longevity and ‘Generation Y’

For centuries the generations of man have segued nicely into each other with changes taking place at a normal evolutionary rate. Until now! The internet was invented twenty five years ago and in that miniscule drop of time 90% of the western world is linked by the World Wide Web. Generation Y have come to maturity not ever knowing life before the net. Four year old children can access games which entertain and teach. We can actually buy things and they arrive on our doorstop in days without any physical currency changing hands. Humans can talk to each other face-to-face across the whole world with barely a blip of difficulty.

Is it all too fast? We humans need time to develop to full maturity and so make sound judgements. It is well known that teenagers are rumbustious, impulsive and likely to make rash decisions. That is what being a teenager is all about! Even relatively young nations are quick to anger and happy to indulge in military fisticuffs before thinking a problem through. So what will generation Y do to the world?

Of course generation Y are quicker intellectually, it must be all those interactive computer games, or the fact that they are raised to respond more rapidly than earlier generations ever were. They can also react more quickly while having their auditory senses totally swamped with what could easily be described as ‘white noise’. The fuel they consume is lacking in nourishment but rich in colourings, preservatives and other such chemicals. Perhaps food scientists are preparing future generations for the time when more conventional nutrients have died out and all we require is a nourishment pill, or injection, once a day. Of course, in time, this will lead to the vestigilisation of the digestive system in humans and so no more effluent, less wasted paper, and reduced water pollution. Obviously this will be long after generation Y’s time but they are encouraging the start of the process.

There will come a point in the very near future when generation Y are in charge. The rest of us are living longer and so the actions of this superfast, easily bored and impulsive crowd will be there for us all to observe and from which to suffer if generation Y don’t bring in euthanasia at 80 years of age. Sadly, I can only see doom for the human race - a true dystopian situation developing over the next twenty years.

It will begin when the lights go out. It is commonly accepted that over the next few months the UK will begin to experience power cuts and so the rest of the world. How will generation Y cope without their hand held games consoles, smartphones or large screen game players? The computers will go down, the internet won’t be available and the generation Y will be forced out into the fresh air. The intoxicating effect of the extra oxygen will bring about a surge in the brain activity of the hyper generation Y which in itself is a dangerous occurrence. They will very soon channel this over-excited brain cell activity into how they can regain their connection to the outside world without actually interacting with others.

The first actions they will take is to seek out the whereabouts of small generators so that they can furnish themselves with the necessary electronic stimulus to prevent them going into meltdown. This will involve the contracting of group sizes, so be kind to the members of the generation Y in your family! They will acquire weaponry, most of them are ace marksmen as a result of years of practice in the seclusion of their dimly lit bedrooms as teenagers, and will be able to isolate themselves and others that matter.

Politically they have little interest in running countries as they are world players on the internet and so the national governments will gradually fall into disrepair - some would say that this is happening already. The concept of countries would disappear as would world sports competitions, international conflict and weapons of mass destruction (Did they ever exist?).

Life would be difficult for those outside of generation Y. The youngsters would struggle to provide care for their elderly relatives, hence eventual euthanasia. If they don’t understand it – kill it! My advice to older generations, in the interest of self-preservation, is to arrange for generation Y’s electronic equipment to accidentally disappear, to end up in the washing up bowl, to get stood on or even fake power surges. Watch out for an immediate violent reaction but then work hard to reintegrate generation Y into the human race.

David L Atkinson