Saturday, 28 March 2015

Here is the news - my view




The news this week has been dominated by the plane crash in France. Like everyone else I have my views but, as someone who has been diagnosed with clinical depression, from the point of view of businesses trying to legislate for their operatives suffering with such mental problems.

1. Plane crash

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It is incredibly sad to consider that one man has caused so much heartache but how did the authorities miss his mental state? In my opinion it is because mental illness is particular to individual sufferers, it can be suppressed and no 'test' can accurately measure or predict how someone will behave whether mentally ill or not.

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2. Prison escape

Image result for clever conman cartoon

So a conman in Wandsworth jail engineered his own release on bail! This resourceful and obviously bright guy smuggled in a mobile phone, set up accounts, imitated a female voice and produced an email in an official looking format granting him release on bail.
Why is he not running the country?

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3. Cow texts farmer

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The above device has been invented to help farmers out. It sends the beleaguered gentlemen a text when his cow is about to drop a calf. Really!! We still can't prevent athlete's foot but we can do this? Someone needs to take a hold on the money wasted on pointless research.

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4. Mushroom to lampshade


In fact this is rather clever. The mushrooms are put into a mould with flour and water and 'grow'. They take between 4 - 7 days depending on the size.

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5. BBC grew a pair!

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As a raging pacifist (is that a contradiction in terms?) I was delighted with the BBC growing a pair of balls and sacking Clarkson. Consider the position scaled down to an ordinary working situation, the call centre, a factory floor, or M & S, there would be no question of him being retained. However, where the great God money is involved it is harder to make the right decision. Well done BBC.

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6. Carolina Butcher

A computer generated reconstruction of the crocodile ancestor Carnufex carolinensis which lived on land and walked on two legs and may have been a top predator before dinosaurs took over the world, scientists believe.

Carnufex carolinensis was a 5 feet tall predatory carnivore that roamed the forests of Carolina during the Triassic period before the age of the dinosaurs. If you came across one - climb a tree - quickly!

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7. Cameron v Milliband

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The first TV 'debate' between the two men, one of whom could possibly to be PM come May 8th. took place on Thursday this week. It wasn't really a debate as the two men didn't face each other, were interviewed separately and then answered questions from an audience on their own. My opinion - inconclusive and inadequate.

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8. Porky Pets

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Our pets are carrying too much fat. We are treating our animals the way in which we treat our children - overfeeding and a lack of exercise.

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9. Cane toads

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China wants Australia's cane toads to help cure cancer. Routinely clubbed to death by the Australian public this creatures venom could have curative properties but in tablet form as it tastes vile.

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10. A man's home is his phallus (oops! palace)

penis house

This Sydney home is up for sale. It was originally erected (pun intended) in the 1950s by Australian architect Stan Symonds and is caused Sherwin House although neighbours refer to it as 'Penis House' and journalists as 'Buckingham Phallus'.

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God Bless