Sunday, 1 March 2015

Writing - It's a little bit funny



The song lyrics from the title of the blog continue with 'this feeling inside' and when we include humour in our writing then that is what we wish to generate. It seems obvious to say that it is the same sort of reaction we'd want to all of the emotions.

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It's Sunday and I came across a couple of pieces that were relevant to my upbringing and liking of poetry that are worth sharing.

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'An Ode to Fifty Shades of Grey'
The missus bought a Paperback
down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look in her bag;
...T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
...At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said...
I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d muttered.
She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ….
I thought oh well, what the hell,
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.
by John Summers
The above is a lovely parody on the book and the film both of which I have avoided and which have been described to me as childish rubbish by different people, who have done some sampling.
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The Pope with his Sunderland shirt.
So now to my Mackem upbringing. I've explained the meaning before but in brief it dates back to shipbuilding when the yards on the River Wear used to build the ships (make them or mackem) and then the Geordies on the River Tyne used to take them (tackem) and finish the ships.
Now here is a more detailed and slightly spurious explanation.
mackem
n. A demi-god worshipped by ancient civilisations as the epitome of wit and sexual prowess. Romans and Vikings colonised the area in the hope of developing a race of supermen to help them in their ambitions. The word is based on a blend of Roman and Norse, and means 'astonishingly well-endowed, funny and attractive angel on a temporary visit from Valhalla'.
Not to be confused with Geordie who were the unfortunate result of a Roman experiment in which Scotsmen had intercourse with pigs. These unfortunate troll-like humanoids can be identified by the fact that they have to wear clothes covered in a large barcode so they can be tracked and controlled by security satellites.
Okay so it is all a little self-centred but if you consider the way they are created writers could develop similar comparisons between other groups.
Whatever you think, have a great weekend.
God Bless