Saturday, 22 August 2015

Writing - 10 things we didn't know

It has been quite a political week. Some of the offerings below are not very high brow politics!

Image result for straight outta compton movie

1. You can't watch Straight Outta Compton in Compton because it doesn't have any cinemas.

That is all supposing that anyone from Compton wants to see the film.


Image result for doris lessing

2. MI5 erroneously suspected novelist Doris Lessing of running a brothel.

Yes - she looks like a typical madam.

Image result for bee hives

3. Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea owns 200,000 bees.

Frankly this is a load of rubbish. No one can own bees. They may own hives but whether they are populated or not is up to the delightful little buggers themselves!


Image result for enrico macias

4. A collection of 1,500 cassettes found at the headquarters of senior al-Qaeda leaders included recordings by the Jewish Algerian singer-songwriter Enrico Macias.



5. People who eat while walking tend to consume more calories.


Image result for asteroid

6. An asteroid will not collide with Earth between 15 and 28 September.

So where is Bruce Willis and that mucky vest?


Image result for bernie sanders

7. US Democratic presidential contender Bernie Sanders released a spoken-word folk album in 1987.

Far out man!


Image result for US Rep candidate Scott Walker

8. US Republican presidential contender Scott Walker acquired his bald spot by bumping his head while fixing a kitchen sink.

Really! If you believe that you'll believe anything.


Image result for OK Google find me a photofit of a chief executive

9. Successful chief executives tend to have wider faces.

No - the eyes are too close together.

Image result for OK Google find me paprika Pringles

10. David Cameron likes paprika Pringles.

Image result for OK Google find me paprika Pringles

You can imagine the conversation between the teenager who took the top photo and the reporter.
Reporter: "Were you really flying Easyjet?"
Teenager: "Yeah!"
Reporter: "Were they Pringles that the PM was eating?"
Teenager: "Yeah"
Reporter: "Now this is really important. What flavour were they?"
Teenager: "I don't know - he didn't offer me one!"
Reporter: "What colour was the packet?"
Teenager: "Yellow I fink!"

From such a conversation it has been ascertained, by one of the intellectuals of the press, that the PM likes paprika flavoured Pringles. Of course it could be that they were the only flavour available!


God Bless