Saturday, 10 October 2015

Writing - 10 things we didn't know last week

Here we go again at the end of a week that has been rich with poetry. The news is somewhat less than poetic.


Image result for elephant

1. Elephants almost never get cancer.

Do I need to eat more?


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2. Actor Brian Blessed delivered a baby in a park, bit through the umbilical cord and then licked the infant's face clean.

I've met Brian Blessed and can only believe that the child would be traumatised for the rest of its life.


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3. Fire ants are surviving historic floods in South Carolina by making rafts.

Of course they are - would you expect anything less from these intelligent little blighters?


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4. Jeremy Corbyn is a life-long reader of Rail Magazine.

Obviously an insomniac.


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Image result for drunk vegetarians

5. A third of vegetarians eat meat when drunk on a night out.

There is a moral in that somewhere. Alcohol allows people to be who they really are!


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Image result for sea anemone

6. Sea anemones could hold the key to immortality.

I met sea anemones once - I had 17 spines in my foot and didn't feel that good!


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Image result for martian lakes

7. Lakes on Mars might have existed long enough for life to evolve.

This tale is so full of s**t. The operative word - might.


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8. The suffragettes learnt the ancient martial art of jiu-jitsu.

Must have been a different brand to Naomi Kobayashi - she would have never been handcuffed to railings.


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Image result for British coffin

9. Britain is the best country in the world in which to die.

Surely it makes no difference!


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10. The best way to remember a name is to say it to someone else. 

David David L L Atkinson Atkinson


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God Bless