Saturday, 30 January 2016

Writing - Last 10 for January

The news diced and sliced for your consumption.


Image result for t rex

1. You could probably outrun a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I would need more surety than 'probably'

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Image result for Tinder matches

2. The best time to get Tinder matches is 21:00.


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Image result for mao zedong

3. Stalin may have had Mao Zedong's excrement analysed.

Holy shit!


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Image result for donald trump

4. Music played in the 50 minutes before Donald Trump rallies must come from a set list assembled by the candidate himself that includes Tiny Dancer by Elton John and songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.

Not a total idiot then!


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Image result for US opinion pollsters

5. US opinion pollsters now have to make between 30 and 35 calls to get one interview.

I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure
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Image result for my local pub

6. People with a pub they call their local are significantly happier.

Tell that to the liberal, lefty, anti-alcohol lobby.


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Image result for fish in space

7. Fish stop swimming in space.

Of course they do - they're dead.


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Image result for pocahontas

8. Some 76% of lines in Disney's Pocahontas are spoken by men, as are 77% in Mulan and 68% in The Little Mermaid.


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Image result for Economy 7

9. The signalling information for switching Economy 7 electricity meters is carried on BBC Radio Four long wave.

Duh!!!!


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Image result for ken livingstone

10. Former London Mayor Ken Livingstone stopped buying cheese because it doesn't decompose.

He always missed the point - it has to be digested Ken 


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God Bless