Saturday, 30 January 2016

Writing - Last 10 for January

The news diced and sliced for your consumption.

Image result for t rex

1. You could probably outrun a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I would need more surety than 'probably'


Image result for Tinder matches

2. The best time to get Tinder matches is 21:00.


Image result for mao zedong

3. Stalin may have had Mao Zedong's excrement analysed.

Holy shit!


Image result for donald trump

4. Music played in the 50 minutes before Donald Trump rallies must come from a set list assembled by the candidate himself that includes Tiny Dancer by Elton John and songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.

Not a total idiot then!


Image result for US opinion pollsters

5. US opinion pollsters now have to make between 30 and 35 calls to get one interview.

I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure

Image result for my local pub

6. People with a pub they call their local are significantly happier.

Tell that to the liberal, lefty, anti-alcohol lobby.


Image result for fish in space

7. Fish stop swimming in space.

Of course they do - they're dead.


Image result for pocahontas

8. Some 76% of lines in Disney's Pocahontas are spoken by men, as are 77% in Mulan and 68% in The Little Mermaid.


Image result for Economy 7

9. The signalling information for switching Economy 7 electricity meters is carried on BBC Radio Four long wave.



Image result for ken livingstone

10. Former London Mayor Ken Livingstone stopped buying cheese because it doesn't decompose.

He always missed the point - it has to be digested Ken 


God Bless