Friday, 12 August 2016

Writing - Just for another laugh

As always August brings the Edinburgh Fringe which has spawned such wonderful talents as John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson and the like. Well here are some of the jokes from this year's effort.

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“I’m from an area, in Birmingham, where we say we’re working class. Ironically. Because we don’t and we’ve got none.” Lindsey Santoro

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 “How to describe my act? If you can imagine a piece of paper with a venn diagram on it and there’s one circle labelled ‘music’ and an overlapping circle labelled ‘comedy’ then my act is on another piece of paper…” Tom Taylor

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“Here’s a little tip for you. If you haven’t already, get yourself a dog. Dogs are great. Before I got a dog I was just some guy in the park throwing a stick and carrying a bag of crap." Jethro Bradley

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“My child thinks that if he doesn’t say ‘hashtag’ before a word I can’t hear it.” Sindhu Vee

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“I was always too slow to catch butterflies when I was a kid, so I’d just put my net over a caterpillar and wait.” Alex Mahoney

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“I don’t know what my tasks at work are supposed to be any more. The main thing I seem to spend my day doing now is repeatedly dropping the Google Streetview man into the River Thames. Pretending he’s my work colleague. That kills eight hours doesn’t it?” Ian Lane

 “The people at home won’t be able to tell this but I’ve been on holiday for a week in the sun. 40 degree heat. And I’ve still come back whiter than Donald Trump’s dreams for the future.” Lauren Pattison

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“It’s just so much easier to say you’re gay because then women know you’re interested and men… try harder.” Catherine Bohart

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“I’m not used to performing on radio and therefore to people who, by the trapping of the medium, are both in the future and blind.” Sean Morley

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“I realised I was British when I got hit by a car… and I apologised.” Michael Odewale

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“I recently found out that pinging an email is the same as emailing an email. It’s just sent by a different kind of person.” Joe Jacobs

And for the writers,

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“I said to her: ‘Every time you correct me on my grammar I love you a little bit fewer’.” George Lewis

God Bless